I wrote this post in June 2018 for the Halifax Mom Collective.
What if we are taking away from him? This thought crossed my mind so many times while I was pregnant with my daughter. I didn’t want to take anything away from my son. I was afraid that maybe we had made a mistake deciding to have another child. I wanted what was best for him, and maybe this wasn’t it.
When we found out I was pregnant, we went to the book store and bought him a couple of big brother books to read to him and try to explain what was about to happen. I bought him the only shirt I could find that said “Big Brother” on it, even though it was pretty ugly. Every night he asked to rub my belly, so I would lay down and he would rub oil on my belly and sing to the baby.
The day we came home from the hospital I called my mom and asked her to make sure Linden was wearing something cute because we wanted to take pictures when we came home with the new baby. When we arrived home he was wearing the ugly big brother shirt over top of a plaid button up shirt with dress pants and suspenders. My mom said he had insisted on finding that big brother shirt and refused to wear it underneath the button up shirt, it had to be on top. He wanted to wear his dress pants and suspenders because he wanted to look good for his sister. He looked ridiculous, but he was so darn proud to be a big brother.
I was worried that it would be a difficult adjustment for him in the days to come. I waited for the words “can you take her back now?” to escape his lips. But they never did. Instead, in the days following her birth, he whispered things like “you’re such my beautiful little girl,” “I lub my sister” and my favourite, “I’m so happy you’re here Lucia” which I heard him say over and over again. Just last night he said “Mommy, Lucia makes me happy.”
He made it very easy to realize I was not taking away from him. In fact, I had given him the best gift of all. A sibling. Something I never knew the joy of having. It is so sweet to see how much love he has for her, giving her endless kisses and always asking for her to “nuggle” with him when I read them bedtime stories. I love the way she smiles at him when he’s being goofy and they both light up like they’ve shared a secret between them.
I know it won’t always be this easy, and there will be days when they won’t get along, but I’m positive the bond they are forming will last a lifetime. For any moms who are expecting your second child and are worried, it is true what they say… you think you won’t be able to love another baby as much as your first, but trust me, you do. And there’s nothing better to see your first child fall as much in love with the baby as you do.